Today is my birthday. Today is also Good Friday. I was debating between posting a reflection on my 22nd birthday (first year post-grad) and one on the matter of faith, religion, God, or what have you. I decided to pass on the more egotistic option and write on something presumably larger than myself, so the latter it shall be.
I do not remember when I lost faith. I quite literally cannot recall at which point I stopped being a fervent believer. What happened? Whatever it is, it must have happened so slowly that I missed it like one may lose the passing of an hour of a day. I also do not remember when I started having faith again. I went from militant atheist to agnostic to confused and I missed that, too. What happened? I am not quite sure. Of one thing I am certain: I may or may not be having a crisis of faith. I take solace in the idea that I naturally operate under the assumption that there is something higher anyways. That is, I have found that I am the same either way – believer or skeptic. This, however, is not about me. It is about challenging other people’s faith, it is about Reddit atheism (maybe), and it is about the Truth over against a person’s comfort and hope.
As a philosophically inclined person, a perpetual thinker, I often label myself “crusader of the Truth”, but I have done some soul searching in the past two years and arrived at the conclusion that the “Truth” might just be overrated. What is the “Truth” even? Is it not pompous to presume that any one person can attain that? Too many people precede me, too much happened before me; too much is currently happening, so I am finding it best to live in full and complete awareness that I may never have the final answer. And that is OKAY.
Myth or not, it is beautiful to think that a divine or quasi-divine being surrendered to the cruelty of mankind and let himself be crucified so that I could be here today. So does the Truth here really matter? This divine sacrifice is at the center of many people’s lives – many great people I have had the chance to meet. I find it beyond me that in such a seemingly cold and indifferent world that some still hold on so strongly to their faith, so I always say there must be something there. There is something about that. Something I cannot take away from people.
If there is anything I have learned in my observations – in the prayers I have heard, in the behaviors I have noticed, in the books I have read—is that this idea of a God is a symbol of hope for many. The ultimate Hope…and taking that away from people is a cruel thing to do. Not even the “Truth” of nature, science, or otherwise, is above that. Hope is all some people have. Some pray for 15 to 30 years in the hope that a certain aspect of their life may change, some pray that long for a solution. They have not given up on life just yet because they know/hope something good is coming …eventually…if not in this life, then in the afterlife.
I stopped being a social gadfly on the matter of faith and religion when I realized that I have no right to make anyone feel hopeless and helpless. My own skepticism, my own chaos, should not intrude on someone’s belief system when it serves them well—when it is a guiding light in their life. So long as you are not using your religion as a tool for oppression, I see no point in denying it to you, especially when it is indubitably full of wisdom. Besides, the possibility of an absentee God does not cancel the benefits of living by the philosophy at the core of many scriptures—be it love, compassion, or detachment. Parting words heard elsewhere: trust requires us to accept unanswered questions—my own addendum: and being able to live happily with that. Happy Easter!
Bonjour Angoisse 
The fact that you are asking these questions is a sign that you are searching for a deeper faith. The sad fact is that many people, as they go through their lives, do not even ask such questions.
I, too, struggled with my faith when young. I found that one has to work at one’s faith. It is not easy. In the meantime, try to share a little kindness and joy with others. Best wishes for you.
Thank you so much for your kind words and well-wishes! I am still learning and searching, I am hoping to see what the universe reveals in the end.
we have always had similar views when it comes to religion and faith and again i find myself agreeing completely that religion is hope for many people. I still find myself wanting to get into a discussion with older relatives of mine that happen to be pretty religious but they would only take it as disrespect to God or whatever. Every time I think about my own beliefs I always remember that “discussion” we had in HC with Gab and i believe it was gio there too. Where one of them said “think about it, everyone turns to God when they’re in need” with phrases like “oh my god, please god” etc. Its a relief to take the pressure off you and believe its in Gods hands, I would admit to doing it myself and I am not even sure what i believe. But like you touch on, we define our own truths especially when it comes to religion and spiritual beliefs. Who am I to tell my relatives or whoever it may be that their views of god are bizarre or unrealistic? Who am I to bring down something that lifts many people up? The truth is overrated
All true! It’s all some people have…take it away, and what do you expect them to do? It’s hard picturing it any other way…